What would your ushers do if they picked up the offering plates and found them stuck together?
Denominations are often the subject of church humor. For example, it was reported that it was so dry one summer in Sumter, S.C., that the Baptists were starting to baptize by sprinkling, Methodists were using wet-wipes, Presbyterians were giving out rain-checks, and Catholics were praying for the wine to change back to water.
Proverbs 20:30 (Good News Bible) says, "Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways." How true!
I can learn a lot by listening to what my church members say. Recently, a church member asked if animals go to heaven. I gave her a long theological answer, but one of my members had a simple, clear answer. I told her that the prophet Isaiah described paradise as a place where the wolf will live at peace with the lamb, the leopard with the goat and the cow with the lion (Isaiah 11:6). ...
One day, I was walking by the playground at our church's child care center. A bunch of the 4-year-olds came over to the fence and called my name, "Brother Bob! Brother Bob!"
Here's an interesting news report: archaeologists have unearthed an ancient application for employment by a very religious person during Bible times. Here it is:
Twitter is becoming a hotbed of holy humor these days. One can find some crazy characters with names like "Unappreciated Pastor," "Church Curmudgeon," "Back Row Baptist," "Lloyd Legalist," and "Bad Chruch Secretary" (deliberately misspelled).
I have been a New Orleans Saints football fan ever since Ole Miss star quarterback Archie Manning joined the team in the early 1970s.
When I went to seminary to train to be a pastor, I was met with several surprises. I think I expected all of the students to look like monks or something. Instead, I saw students who were male and female, tall and skinny, and some who were short and fat. I saw guys running around in T-shirts throwing footballs, and I saw egg-heads with wire-rimmed glasses carrying briefcases. Suddenly, it was as if God spoke to ...
As a pastor, I visit people who are in the hospital for all kinds of reasons: surgeries, childbirths, injuries and sickness. I have learned to always knock before entering a hospital room, because one never knows what might be behind that door. Hospital gowns are not designed for fashion or full covering, and I certainly don't want to invade somebody's privacy.
My good friend Rev. Joe McKeever asked his nearly 5,000 Facebook friends what they think is the funniest thing in the Bible. From their comments, and with Brother Joe's permission, here are their Top Five Funny Stories in the Bible:
Not only am I a preacher, but I'm a PK - preacher's kid. My father was a pastor before me.
A few weeks ago I told about how I had to stop preaching one Sunday so that everybody could watch a deacon swat a wasp. When it comes to distractions, however, insects cannot compete with babies.
I have a great admiration for those who translate and publish the Bible. They are on the front lines in God's Army.
Once I told some preschoolers about Jesus' parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32). I was trying to help the children understand that God is like the father who lovingly accepted his rebellious son back home and restored all of his privileges as his son.
Cal and Rose Samra tell how Thanksgiving Day was approaching, and a family received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a Pilgrim family on their way to church.
One Thanksgiving when I lived in Mississippi, I was feeling especially thankful. God was blessing my church and my family.
You've heard of the movie, "Snakes on a Plane." In Appalachia, some people put snakes in a casket.
Recently a lady in my church was talking to a little girl about heaven. She described how we would spend every day in worship. The little girl looked up in astonishment and asked, "You mean we don't get no free time?"
A pastor in Mississippi was performing a wedding ceremony, when he suddenly realized that he had forgotten the bride's name. What could he do? He couldn't say, "Hey, pretty lady, do you take this handsome man?" If he whispered to the groom and asked for the bride's name, everybody would hear it on his lapel mike, anyway. So he just blurted it out, asking the bride in an apologetic voice, "What's your name?"
A Methodist pastor in Dalton asked if he could borrow the baptismal pool at the Baptist church for a baptism by immersion. While Methodists commonly baptize by sprinkling, they also may immerse, and this Methodist pastor had a couple who had trusted Christ and wanted to go all the way under.
"Hey honey, I'm going to Texas," said a man to his wife one Friday night. "Carl here knows where there's a preacher stuck on the side of the road. We're going to get him."
"The Wittenburg Door" has gathered a strange collection of classified ads for religious products that can take some weird turns.
Page 1 of 1